Finding the Fruit

I keep getting rad ideas for blogs... It goes a little something like this:

Rad idea happens. Kayla thinks to herself,

Oh, that's interesting/ingenius/clever/funny/educational/inspiring/etc... I could write a cool blog about that.

Many frustrating hours of attempting to learn Wordpress.com and a poorly written paragraph later:

Oh, never mind, it wasn't that interesting/ingenius/clever/funny/educational/inspiring/etc...

One day, I'll get a Wordpress up and running. It's cool, but not worth the effort at this point in time. For now, here I am. I don't get it. I used to write novels on Xanga (Yeah, you forgot about Xanga didn't you!?). And by no means am I a writer, but come on, I think a lot of pretty interesting things happen to me. At least I hope so...

Anyway, here it is and here's why: I suck at having a consistent quiet time. So one morning, I'm sitting at the table dissatisfied with my poor efforts in spending some quality time with God. 

I need more Christian female influence in my life. I mean, I'm about to be married! This whole woman-of-God thing needs to happen and fast! 

So I google "blog for christian women." Luckily, I found some good ones right away. My favorite so far is a {modern} christian woman. She writes about anything! From tips on organizing, to recipes, to the way scripture inspired her that day... I also enjoy Sarah Mae. 

I was encouraged to see that not all of their entries were super long. I think that's what intimidated me the most about keeping a blog; the fact that I'll need to write something really substantial and do that often, and the fact that I had no idea what to write about. I didn't want to give my blog a narrow theme, such as theatre. I love theatre, but I couldn't write something about it everyday, especially when I'm not participating in a show. It would look something like this:

"Listened to the OBC soundtrack of Once, today. Isn't the cast just FABULOUS? Oh, and the lace on my jazz shoes broke. Wah, wah."

Sign me up for THAT subscription! Don't get me wrong, I WILL geek out about the stage every once in a while.

What really helped me actually get this thing started, was realizing that this blog isn't necessarily going to be for an audience. I'll be ecstatic if I get some readers and they actually enjoy reading it, but I mostly want to see what I get out of this blog. 

Going back to my frustration with quiet time, I've always had a hard time with this. Praying, talking to God, asking my questions and not "hearing" any answers (did anyone else just burst out into "Part of That World" or was that just me?). I want to be a fruitful woman. I want to exude the fruit of the spirit from the inside out. I want others to know that I am a Christ follower because of my love for all people. I get impatient with my family. I am by no means meek or gentle. I don't know what peace truly feels like. My faith and self-control are my weakest links. I want to find these fruits within me and develop them. Actually, I'll let God do the developing. My hope is that this blog will be a journal of my journey to find said fruit, and perhaps someone else will be inspired to find the fruit, as well.

-Kayla

Disclaimer: Nick usually edits anything and everything I write for the public eye, but this blog will not be edited. Expect bad grammar, run on sentences, and really cheesy jokes. You've been warned.