Honesty

This is a picture of me from today. No makeup. No smile. Just me and some Starbucks. I never post pictures like these because I'm too afraid of what people will think. Wow. I finally said it. And what a relief that was. And so true. So why did I take the picture in the first place? I think maybe because I'm ready to stop hiding. I'm ready to find out who I really am and not be afraid to share me with the world. This is a picture of Starbucks getting me through a tough day (more on that later). I wish I could say that the love of Jesus is what gets me through the day, but that wouldn't be true. Though Jesus' love is real and abounding and endless and sufficient, I don't rely on it completely. But I absolutely can. I absolutely should. I'm working on it... Right now, to be honest, I still need Starbucks.

One thing I want more of in my life is honesty. If this blog is finally going to be a thing, I want it to be honest. That doesn't mean I'm going to share every personal dilemma that occurs in my life. Doing that cultivates negativity and negative is not who I am or who I want to be. Who I am is a believer, a wife, an artist, a pet parent, a student, and a caregiver. These are the things I'm going to write about. These are the things I hope will connect with people; with you. These are the things I want to be honest about, and honestly, being these things—being who I am, is not always easy.

In fact, today, being a caregiver has been especially hard.

There are not a lot of folks outside my inner circle that know about my caregiver role. There are even fewer who know what that role entails. For now, I'm going to keep it that way. I just wanted to restart this blog with a bit of honesty.

I don't know what the next post will be about, I just know that I want to post again. This summer, I'm going to do a lot of things I've been putting off. I'm excited. I'm scared. But it's okay. At the end of the day, everything is going to be okay. I hope you find comfort in that. I do. This blog is a work in progress, and so are we. 

Peace.

Goals for Summer 2015

A couple weeks ago, my instructors asked me to outline my 5-year-plan. At first, this task seemed completely unrealistic. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, how the heck am I supposed to know what I’ll be doing in 5 years!? No one knows that! But after asking a few questions, I learned that the plan is less about what I’m going to be doing and more about what I’d like to be doing. Basically, it’s a list of goals. The last time I made of list of life goals was when I was 16. A lot has changed since then. And, yes, I know it’s totally not normal for a 16-year-old to have a list of life goals, but if you know me, you know I’ve always been very goal-oriented. :) Though this outline was required for school, I found it to be a REALLY great exercise and something I plan to do for myself every year. 

Anyway, in no particular order, here are my goals (minus a few I chose not to share) for this summer:

- Practice having a consistent quiet time.

- Practice letting go/not worrying as much.

- Practice patience in my role as a caregiver and as a practicer (see below).

- Practice yoga twice a week.

- Practice healthier eating.

- Practice communicating.

- Practice making decisions that will strengthen my will-power.

- Practice navigating Wordpress in order to build my website/fancy-fy my blog.

- Practice reading a play once a week.

Why is “practice” in front of every goal? Because these things are not going to happen overnight. I’ve learned that and this summer I will learn to be okay with that. 

Learning takes patience and patience takes practice. 

Will I achieve all of these goals? Probably not. But, I’ll try. That’s the great thing about practice: I can keep practicing until I’m satisfied with the result. Even if that means practicing through fall, winter, etc...  The key is to just keep practicing!

What are your goals for this summer? If you don’t have any yet, why not make some? Summer is the perfect time to work towards some goals that have been pushed aside or forgotten about. Once you’ve got some in mind, comment them below! I’d love to hear from you. 

Peace.